Born in Shanghai, China, Yong Wen immigrated to the U.S. at the age of 13. Familiar with both Eastern and Western cultures, he studied engineering as an undergraduate and holds a master's degree in mechanical engineering. Seeking a greater challenge, he transitioned to medical school, where he has practiced nephrology for the past 20 years—a decision he is glad he made. Wen grew up in a society without an official religion, and without much religious influence. His personal philosophy draws from Confucianism, Stoicism, and Buddhism. He prefers to figure things out for himself rather than be indoctrinated, particularly regarding social issues. Lately, he has been intrigued by understanding the physiology behind psychological diseases, and the relationship between hormones, neurotransmitters, emotions, cognition, and behavior.
Lessons from Yong Wen for the Next Generation
I am a clinical nephrologist practicing in the U.S. for the past 20 years. I just celebrated my 50th birthday last month, and this writing is my way of commemorating it. My motivation is to share the wisdom I have accumulated with my two children and the youth of our nation. I have no formal training in psychology; everything in this article I have figured out through introspection and my own life experiences.
In order to discuss success, we first need to define it. Contrary to popular belief, success is not simply a feeling. Certainly, a person may feel successful, but that feeling alone does not make them successful. Success is an objective construct, meeting certain criteria established by society. It is distinct from happiness, which is a subjective feeling. Success is not subjective, and it is not a feeling; it requires effort—often very hard work. Nobody wants to do hard work unless they have a goal and motivation. One of my favorite quotes is by Winston Churchill: "Success is moving from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." This quote highlights the importance of motivation, energy, and perseverance in achieving success.
In my life, I have found that my psychological growth has occurred in spurts. Most of what I have learned about myself comes from painful mistakes and failures. The more painful the failure, the more profound its impact on my character. The key to self-improvement is to learn the right lessons from your mistakes and failures. That is why "failure is the mother of success." This brings me to the concept of perseverance. What is the difference between persistence and perseverance? Persistence involves using the same method repeatedly in the face of failure without giving up. It may lead to success (with luck), but it may also lead to insanity. Perseverance, on the other hand, is more likely to lead to success. It requires learning from mistakes, adjusting one's approach for the next attempt, and finding the motivation not to give up.
At this point, you should already appreciate the importance of motivation and enthusiasm for success. These qualities are not long-lasting throughout one's life. The capacity for energy and enthusiasm is greatest between the ages of 13 and 35. Let me reference the late Steve Jobs' words to Stanford graduates in his commencement speech: "Stay hungry and stay foolish." This has to do with motivation for hard work. If your belly is full, there is less reason or motivation to "hunt," which is work. If you think you already know everything, there is less motivation to "learn," which is also hard work. Jobs' words imply that it is a natural process of life and aging to become less motivated to work. Psychologically, it's easy to see why motivation and energy for work decrease as we accumulate wealth and become mentally satisfied with age. Jobs was encouraging young graduates to retain their youthful enthusiasm well into their adult lives because success is a process, not necessarily a final destination.
It is natural for all living beings to lose energy and enthusiasm—the key ingredients for success—with aging. That is why it is crucial for young people to work hard, set goals, make mistakes, and learn from those mistakes in their 20s and 30s. How hard one works as a teenager profoundly affects the quality of life later on.
As I mentioned earlier, success is an objective construct, and therefore requires benchmarking. In the process of pursuing success, one should repeatedly evaluate their work. A problem with modern "wokeism" is that it treats success as a subjective feeling and avoids evaluations to minimize the negative feelings of failure. Without experiencing failure, adjusting methods, and trying again, those who embrace "wokeism" will never achieve true success. Examples of wokeism include: believing you can become whoever you want simply by dreaming hard enough; thinking positively while ignoring all criticism; changing your gender if you're unhappy with it; and eliminating standardized testing in college admissions because it disadvantages certain cultural minorities. Benchmarking is crucial to building one's confidence in any task. Without assessments, we cannot understand our failures, much less learn from them, and without learning from failures, success cannot be achieved.
This is why I want my children to not fear tests, but rather embrace them as opportunities for growth. Test results do not define you, failure does not define you, and even success does not define you. So what defines a person? You are defined by your responses to your failures.
For instance, imagine a successful bureaucrat in Ukraine who rose to their position through nepotism and corruption. Due to the war, they move to the UK, lose most of their wealth, and have to start over. Compare this to a second person who achieved the same position in Ukraine through merit. Who is more likely to achieve a similar level of success in the UK years later?
What is inside your mind is much more lasting than what is outside your body. Your mind shapes the path of your life far more than your appearance. No substance can improve your mind beyond what nature has given you—substance only diminishes it. Think things through before you act; let cognition dictate your behavior rather than emotions. Retain your youthful curiosity about the world so that you keep learning, because understanding is the correct strategy for most mental health problems.
I do not believe in destiny—your actions can affect the future of the world, and your choices matter.
